Possible Explanation

I felt a little guilty after my last post.  Anne Marie has been getting so much better in her temperament - Matt and I have been remarking about how MUCH better it is now, compared with two months ago.

Of course, she still isn't as content as any of my friends' babies, and seems to catch us off guard with a fit every now and then (like the day after my birthday, when she pitched a royal fit in a restaurant and I had to take her outside so that Matt could finish his meal - while she screamed non stop, soliciting advice from complete strangers and even one lady took her from me in an unsuccessful attempt to calm her...), but she's really started talking and giggling and being so cheerful a majority of the time; the fits are fewer and farther between.

So, after I re-read my last post, I felt a little bad complaining about how miserable things had been when they were really starting to look up.

I didn't know what had been getting better, but just assumed that Anne Marie was simply a colicky baby and was slowly starting to grow out of it.  She more than met the "guidelines" for colic the first three months, but I didn't see any indicators for something that was causing the crying (like reflux).

Back when she was still just a few weeks old, I had tried eliminating - or minimizing - a few common/potential "problem foods" in my diet in an attempt to determine if she was so fussy due to something I was eating.  I stopped drinking milk or using real creamer in my (now decaf) coffee, I also cut out a lot of "gassy" vegetables like broccoli.

Late last week, I'd started eating yogurt and real creamer again and then on Monday I had my first bowl of cereal with milk in what felt like ages.  A few hours later, Anne Marie had some blood in her diaper, which concerned me enough to call the pediatrician.

They told us to bring her in and looked her over, but what really caught the doctor's attention was when I told her that I'd had my first serving of milk that morning after cutting it out of my diet for weeks.  After several more questions about what I'd been eating or not eating, the timing of Anne Marie's fits, and her general demeanor, the doctor surmised that Anne Marie has a dairy/protein allergy or intollerance.

The solution is for me to eliminate all dairy, soy, eggs, and nuts from my diet.  It will take 2-4 weeks for it to clear my and AM's systems, so we won't be able to tell a discernible difference immediately, but it's worth a shot.  The alternative to changing my diet is to feed AM a special formula (but it's extremely expensive and she's not reliable about taking a bottle anyway).  We also had to bring in some samples for them to send to the lab to check for anything infectious or parasitic.  But she didn't have a fever and her diaper did test positive for blood, so it's most likely an allergy.

This is not a major deal.

She will most likely grow out of it and it should have any long-term effects on her.  Changing her (or my) diet until then is a perfectly workable solution.  Not necessarily so fun for me (or the wallet), but completely doable.  I'd already been limiting some of my dairy intake, which was probably the reason that she's been getting less and less fussy.  Now that I know this is most likely the cause of her issues, there is a clear motivation to making her feel better, even if it means I'll have to forgo the cheesecake for a while (sniff... cue trumpets playing taps in mourning...).

In some ways, this is a relief.  It explains a lot, and makes me feel a little vindicated from the weight I've carried due to her unpredictable temperament.  She hasn't been crying because she's "spoiled", or because I haven't held her enough, or because of something else I did or didn't do.

It's not my fault.  

At the same time, I feel guilty thinking about how she's really been in pain all this time and that it must have been torture for her to digest something her body might be allergic to. I wish we'd figured this out sooner, but all I can do now is be thankful that we may have caught it at all and not dwell on regret. 

I've been worried that people wouldn't love her as much as the sweet, cuddly babies that belong to my sister and girlfriends, that the nursery workers at church aren't exactly thrilled each time we bring AM in, and that Matt and I would forever be juggling whose turn it was to soothe our fussy little girl.

I really don't know what I'm doing when it comes to this whole "parenting" thing.  Matt and I are feeling our way in the dark - the blind leading the blind - but we've managed to 1. survive 2. figure out some daily routines 3. actually start to enjoy this new phase a bit 4. begin trying to reconnect as husband and wife instead of just being parents of a new baby. 

I'd call that success - so far.

Three Months In

6.4.04

Monday marked Matt's and my 8th anniversary.

Eight years.

Eight years of wonderful. Eight years of joy, happiness, and even sorrow and pain. Eight years as man and wife.

It got me thinking about how we started out.

 Eleven and a half years ago, my freshman year of college - and Matt's "first" senior year - I went with my good friend Robin to hear our favorite band, The Cover Girls, at the Blue Room. When we got there, she wanted to stop by and say hi to a group of guys that she knew from high school (she had dated one of Matt's little brother's friends years ago). Matt and his friend Jerry were hanging out with the group and we were introduced.

It was "dollar pitcher" night.

So, we met at the Blue Room in Auburn on dollar pitcher night. (Such a great story to share with all of my friends and family, huh?...)

What followed was a semester of feeling each other out, my standing him up for our first date, and then he and I eventually deciding to date exclusively about 30 minutes before I drove home for the summer.

Matt was mowing lawns in Auburn and I was life guarding back home.  It was before the days of free nights and weekends and unlimited cell phone minutes, so we spoke on the phone in limited increments and tried to keep up contact via email between visits.  He would drive home on the weekends and come to see me at the pool where I worked.  He and Amanda hung out together while I would have to put in my shift on the stand.

I fell in love with him that summer.

My dad warned me about dating Matt. Matt was not a Christian and my father knew the dangers of dating someone who did not share the same beliefs as you. I didn't listen to him.

A year later, after things had gotten more serious, I eventually called it off.  We'd been going to church together and he had been meeting with the pastor on his own, but we still didn't share the same faith.  I knew I wasn't supposed to be seeing someone that wasn't a believer, and by that time it was really hard to end it.

Obviously Matt made a life commitment to serve Christ and we got back together. We dated two more years, and following another short breakup after his move to Dallas my junior year, we got engaged and married a month after I graduated from college.

 We got married on a Friday and by the following weekend, we were driving all of my belongings across  several states.  I moved to Dallas to join him and start a life together.  No job, no friends, only a lifetime ahead of me with the love of my life.  By the time I got a job offer in Dallas, Matt had decided to go back to school to get a second bachelor's by finishing the mechanical engineering degree he started at Auburn (which he had changed to business administration/aviation management after a semester or two of pre-engineering courses).

It made more sense for us to move back to Alabama where I could easily find an engineering job and he could go back to school while we lived off of a single income.  So, we packed up our things and headed back across the Mississippi. 

I remember feeling a little numb when we got married - almost like it just happened to me and I was on auto pilot.  I wondered if this was a mistake, had I simply just gone through the motions?  The few months we spent in Dallas together were wonderful for us, after having been long-distance for over two years of the three and a half of our entire courtship, we were finally together.  Just the two of us.  Slowly the semi-shock of getting married wore off and we settled into being together.

It was wonderful.

The past eight years have been so much fun.  We've taken trips, bought a house, been apart, moved again, and become parents.  I always thought it was sappy when married couples said things like, "I love him/her more now than I thought possible when we got married."

But it's true.

I do.

He's been my steadfast support and ultimate confidante.  He's been my cheerleader and my cheererupper.  I've watched his faith grow unwavering and deep, sometimes exposing my own weak faith in comparison.  He's grown into a committed husband, provider, leader and now father. 

He's even pretty good about putting the toilet seat back down.

But it hasn't been all easy sailing.  We've gone through rough patches, and I'm not talking about our eternal war on how the toothpaste tube should be squeezed/capped. (The adjustment after I returned from my short stint in Virginia was especially hard) We've wept together and fought with one another.  But the laughter has far outweighed the tears.  

I'd do it all again, and can only hope to have 80 more years of life with this man.

Strawberry Shortcake

This picture of my mom and me really has nothing to do with the post,

but I loved it enough to include it anyway.

Manda's quilted creation got me thinking about my own baby blanket experiences and the memories of the the three of us growing up with our baby blankets nearby.

I asked my dad if he could pick out a few photos of us as kids with our respective blankets and he sent me two CDs worth of photographs - and that only covered the first five years or so of my life.

Here we are (not fighting!), each of us with our own blanket.

(don't you LOVE that headband Manda's sporting?!)

You see, we three girls had a sort of love affair with our blankets growing up.  We kind of started out as equal opportunity users with the various blankets when we were very little but by the time we were talking, we each had our own distinct personal blanket preferences.

Mine was the Strawberry Shortcake cotton print blanket, simple and sweet.  It was one of the few items that I never lost growing up and was a constant fixture on my bed at night.  Well loved and well worn, it lost one of its corners to the "tire" of my big wheel one afternoon.  It remained a staple of my bedroom sheet set well past its expiration date and is currently safely tucked away in my closet (is it weird to be almost 30 and have your baby blanket right next to your shorts?)



Amanda preferred a soft green number, but was also accompanied by a creamy white version of the same blanket fairly often.  One of those two blankets were almost constantly being toted around by her and I don't think she was able to fall asleep without having one safely snuggled against her cheek until she was about 8 or 9.

Amanda, snuggled up with her green blanket. 

Amy's choice of blanket was this fluffy, quilted green print number. It was one of her prized possessions that she packed up and took with her when she ran away from home - the day before her 5th birthday - because she didn't want to take her obligatory Sunday afternoon nap (that story deserves an entire post of its own!).

  Amy, konked out in her crib with her blanket.

Contraband!  Blanket, Teddy, and Scotty dog are all a girl needs when running away from home.

My attachment to Strawberry Shortcake was no secret.  So much so, that the first gift we received after finding out that we were having a baby girl of our own, was this sweet Strawberry Shortcake doll and blanket from my parents.

They must've had to look all over to find this doll and blanket set because my dear Strawberry Shortcake has had a makeover in the last 30 years.  All of the plastic surgery on this girl has hardly left her recognizable as the character of my youth. 

To complete future Baby Girl's Strawberry Shortcake legacy, my mother knitted these sweet little booties. 

(and "Big Daddy" picked out those ladybug buttons!)

While I'm on my mother's gorgeous knitted creations, I must take a quick moment to spotlight this adorable sweater.  The gender neutral yellow sweater was started several years ago when my mom got a wild hair about having some "real"grand babies (because "grand puppies" somehow don't count).  She finished and personalized it once she found out she'd finally get a grand baby of her own.

Started years ago by my mother, with long-held hopes of a grandchild.

How fun will it be to watch Anne Marie grow up with her own childhood blanket/quilt made by hand by her dear Auntie Mandie and her own set of Strawberry Shortcake accompaniments? 

Anne Marie

Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night

The first one's named sweet Anne Marie and she's my heart's delight.

Finally, fourteen days past due, sweet Anne Marie made her entrance into our world.  Nameless for most of the first day of her life, we finally settled on a moniker for our little bundle of depravity.

I had such an easy pregnancy, I just knew that labor couldn't possibly go as smoothly as everything else.  I was right, and the labor/delivery part of the story left something to be desired (maybe I'll write a separate post on some of that later).  However, we are so thankful to have such a healthy, beautiful little girl that there is really no room for complaining.

We are quite in love.

There have been several times over the last week that Matt and I have stopped, looked at each other, and said in wonder something along  the lines of, "we're PARENTS!"  or "she's OURS!" 

I don't know how long it will take to sink in, but it's been a pretty cool ride so far.

Sleep has been good some days, and not so much others.

My emotions have been pretty unpredictable too.  One morning last week, Matt was praying as we sat down to breakfast and I was holding Anne Marie in my arms.  I just started crying tears of joy as he thanked our Lord for His goodness and mercy towards us.  My heart is so full right now and sometimes it feels like it might burst.

Of course, an hour later, as I was getting showered and dressed, I heard AM fussing and Matt coming into our bedroom (presumably to see if I could get her to settle down), so I slammed the bathroom door shut before he could get to me and interrupt the first few moments of quiet solitude I'd had in days.  

I know the emotional swings come with the territory, but I hate not being in control of my emotions.  I really can't stand to not be able to keep it together.  There's almost nothing worse than to start crying over something seemingly benign and not be able to stop it!

I know I'm biased, but I think she's worth a 32 hour labor and some uncontrollable tears.

Roger Locher

If you haven't seen it, check out this recent post over at Cordially Charlie's blog.

Great story, great storyteller...


http://charliewingard.blogspot.com/2012/05/rescue-of-roger-locher.html

Matt

Labor of Quilted Love

Pink monogrammed "H" in lieu of a real 3-letter monogram 

(yes, still no name, and we're really running out of time as I'm now "past due".)

My extremely talented sister made me the most gorgeous, cheerful, beautiful, happy quilt.

One of the first things she said to me after finding out we were having a girl was, "now you need to pick out your fabric!" After hours of searching online and a fruitless trip to a couple of local fabric stores (what's up with local quilting fabric selections being so full of "old lady" fabric patterns?), we settled on this collection:  Taza by Dena Designs.

I LOVE the fabrics and colors and knew that it would make a really cheery quilt without becoming a "pink explosion".  Amanda had been eying this quilt pattern and was just as enthusiastic about making it for me as I was to see it all come together.

Manda has made several quilts so far, each one better than the previous.  I must admit that I had some serious lust for the quilt she made for Amy four years ago and was tempted to steal it.  I was thrilled to finally get my own Manda creation (Oh, wait.  This quilt is for my baby.  Does that mean it's not really mine?...)

Baby Girl's quilt and coordinating crib skirt (more on that below).

Since Baby Girl isn't really supposed to sleep with bedding for a little while, and to help protect it from spit up for as long as possible, I'd like to hang the quilt on the wall above the crib.  Anyone have any experience in that department?
 

The back side. (Sorry it appears so washed out here - the colors are much more vivid in person)

I am so thrilled about this quilt, I can't even begin to tell you.  I know it took a lot of time and effort to put together and will be something that we and Baby Girl will cherish for a lifetime.  I still have my baby blanket folded up in my closet.  The pink quilted Strawberry Shortcake blanket was a constant fixture in my bedroom until I was about 8 (well, actually, it stayed folded up on my bed until I got married, when Matt told me I had to stop sleeping with my BABY BLANKET!  ...I can't believe I just admitted that!).

I spent Sunday afternoon (nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?) sewing a very simple crib skirt, using two of the patterns from the fabric collection Amanda used in the quilt.

 
Y'all, I'm not crafty.  And it's been probably 15 years since I've used a sewing machine, so the fact that this came out so well is just a testament to its simplicity.

Either way, I'm pretty happy about it.

So, while I'm at it, here's a look around the former office-now-nursery:



The only real changes we made were that shelf with the baskets, a ceiling fan, shelves in the closet/stairwell, and the curtains (ikea).

I ordered the crib, changing dresser and side table from J.C. Penney.  All three are solid wood and very well built. I got a great deal on them too!  We already had the chair and bookshelf, and we ordered the glider on sale from Babies R Us.

We left the walls their neutral green color.  After this (and any possible future) child(ren), this room will revert back to an office, and I didn't want to have to paint it multiple times.  Besides, I really like the green.  :)

We may do something with those french doors if needed - like applying translucent film to the glass or adding blinds.  We're kind of holding off on that for now to see what we'll really need.

I'm really happy with how it all turned out.  We've been pretty low stress about this baby prep thing and have tried to keep it all as easy and simple as possible.  I think we were pretty successful at doing that (and keeping our costs to a minimum, always a plus!).

One of my favorite parts about the room are all of the handmade gifts, lovingly created by dear friends.

Hanging on the wall is a pink dress made by Jennifer M.  It's absolutely beautiful, and of heirloom quality.

Closeup of the monogram detail on the pink dress, which now hangs on the wall next to the crib.

I was speechless at my baby shower when I received not one, but two, breathtakingly beautiful quilts.  They're currently folded over the chair and glider in the nursery and I can't wait to wrap Baby Girl up in them!

Quilts made by Sandra K.(left)  and Jennifer H (right).

Now we just need to get Baby Girl with the program so that she can make use of this room!

Las Meninas

For Matt's 33rd birthday last weekend (Happy Belated, honey!), I had a couple of pictures framed as part of his birthday gift. We have several unframed prints that we've collected from various trips over the years and they're starting to collect dust on a shelf instead of being admired on the wall (as was originally intended). The prints that I had framed were two different versions of Diego Velazquez's Las Meninas.
 

I love this painting. We saw the real thing at The Prado Museum in Madrid last year during during our Spain trip and ended up purchasing a copy on canvas in the museum's gift shop.

I first realized how much I love art museums the summer before my freshman year of college, when we spent some time at the Louvre in Paris. I. Fell. In. Love. One day in the museum was not nearly long enough, and if it hadn't been for my sisters embarrassing the crap out of me by wandering up to random paintings and (loudly) declaring in their best "French" accents (ala Lumiere), "Muwahaha, look at zis paint-iiing!", I could have spent an entire month in the museum. So, naturally, taking a trip to a city with another world famous art museum required a dedicated stop to peruse some artwork - this time without embarrassing 16 and 14 year old sisters.

The print is a portrait of the "infanta Margarita" (1651-1673), who was the daughter of King Felipe IV and Maria de Austria. She's standing in the hall of Madrid's Alcazar Palace, surrounded by servants, or "Las Meninas" (the maids of honour/ladies in waiting).

Velazquez included a self portrait of himself; he stands with his paintbrush behind a canvas on the left-hand side of the painting.

The neatest aspect to this painting is the perspective. Behind Margarita's right shoulder is what appears to be a hazy painting on the wall. It's actually a mirror that reflects back what everyone in the painting is viewing - the king and queen. The painting is of King Phillip IV's and Queen Mariana of Austria's perspective as they stand for a portrait for their artist, Diego Velazquez.

So, why would I get this framed for Matt's birthday? Like Matt gives a crap about some painting from the 17th Century, right? Well, later on in our trip, we spent some time at the Picasso Museum in Barcelona and wandered upon this...

It's one of 58 (yes, 58!) versions of Las Meninas that Pablo Picasso painted in 1957. (See here for some examples). They are such an incredibly different take on the original and we really enjoyed spending a good amount of time looking at each one (the Picasso Museum has the entire 58-piece collection).

Matt could really appreciate this. I think he was really intrigued by the question of "how did that guy's mind translate A into B?!"

So, we picked up a print in the museum's gift shop to go along with our print of the original version.

I'm really happy with how they turned out. I had them put in matching frames so that they would somewhat coordinate, but they're such different styles, that I imagine anyone giving the two pictures a cursory glance might wonder why in the world we'd hang two very different paintings on the same wall.

A Real Harnation

 Little Girl, future Auburn class of... 2034?

Since most of you know the skinny on the goods by now, this is less of an "announcement" and more of an "acknowledgment".   If you've seen me in the last month or so, I hope it was painfully obvious that Matt and I are expecting our first little rugrat this spring (versus what might have otherwise appeared as the after effects of indulging my sweet tooth and skipping the gym one too many times).

I tried to think of something witty to say about our impending arrival, but I'm fresh out.  We're just excited.  We're happy, scared, and cautiously optimistic about opening this next chapter in our lives together.  I feel like we've laid a pretty good foundation for our relationship with one another over the last eleven years, and I can't wait to raise children with this man that I share my life with.

Baby Girl, as she is affectionately referred to, has no name.  Not because we have an awesome name picked out that we're saving until she comes, but because we just simply can't agree on one.   We haven't fought about it, but we also haven't found anything that we both think will work. 

 Baby legs.  At 16 weeks, we already had photographic evidence of this girl's long 

Harness/Long legs and big ole Shipman noggin'. 

(can you see the shadow of her hand on her chin?)

It's funny how our opinions of things have changed over the years.  There was a point when neither of us was fully convinced that we'd ever want kids.   I certainly didn't ever want to stop working full time and shuddered at the thought of it.  Now we're giddy about this child that God has growing inside of me, and I'm trying to figure out how to knock out as much of my thesis research in the next two and a half months as possible so that I can take an extended maternity leave before returning to work part-time. 

Obligatory pregnancy pose.  Baby and me at 29 weeks.

I feel like our marriage is stronger than ever, and I've been taken aback a few times with the sudden realization of how much I love this man that I'm married to and how much he means to me.  (Of course, then it's usually followed up by my having to apologizing for being extra cranky that day and snapping at him for no reason.)

Although this has been a very easy pregnancy so far, I have still developed a love-hate relationship with being pregnant.  I've been a little surprised at how unprepared I was emotionally for the changes in how I look and my physical shape, confronting me with my own vanity and selfishness.  On the other hand, I love the connection I feel to this child.  She's about as active as I could have ever thought possible, and if I didn't have things to do every day, I think I could spend hours watching my stomach ripple and move with each kick and stretch.

One of the most exciting things about this is that just three short months later, we will get to meet our own niece or nephew when Baby Pie arrives.  I have prayed that one day we would grow up and get to raise children together, and am excited beyond words at His perfect timing in all of this. I enjoyed having cousins close to my and my sisters' ages and wanted the same thing for my own children.  I can't wait to watch these two grow up together.

I'm praying for a child that never knows a day when she did not call our Lord her God and Savior,  for a daughter that might (graciously) be kinder to me as a preteen than I was to my own wonderful mother, for Matt's and my marriage to be strengthened and protected, and for His blessing on this and any future additions to our family.

Cali in January

Last month, Matt and I took a last minute trip out West to visit his dad and Anny.  They live in the San Francisco Bay area, just between Sausalito and Napa, and are always superb hosts.

No matter how many times we visit, there always seems to be something new to do and see.   This trip was no different.  We started out with a day trip to Napa and a wine tour in a castle.

Yes, a castle. 

What do you do if you have more money than you know what to do with and a successful family winery in Napa Valley?  You  do the most logical thing you can think of with your money:  retire, build yourself a castle, and open another winery, right?

Castello di Amorosa was a pretty neat place to take a winery tour.  It's privately owned, and just a little more interesting than an ordinary winery. It started as a retirement property for the owner of V. Sattui, just down the road in Nappa Valley, and over time morphed into a 121,000 square foot winery with an authentic medieval Italian-style castle.  It's even got its own dedicated torture chamber, just to keep things realistic (you know, because medieval castles in California are all over the place).

Our tour was great. We really got to see how wine is made, barreled, and stored.  The tour included a tasting, complete with a barrel tasting.  We were able to taste the wine that had been barreled just a few months prior, and then taste the same genre of wine after it had been properly aged, bottled, and ready for sale.

No grape smashing with your feet here.  The weight of the grapes in these huge containers 

naturally crushes the fruit on the bottom.

I can't really say that I'm a "wino", but I really do love a good glass of Shiraz.  I hated wine when we first got married, but as with my taste for beer, it has grown over the years.  Being at a tasting where I couldn't swallow and appreciate the wine was a bit of a torturous experience, but Matt was happy to help me out by finishing my allotted samples.

One of our favorite things about our visits to Ron and Anny's is the food.  We always eat really well.   Although we didn't make it to the French Laundry for dinner, we did stop and take a photo for our favorite foodie, Lynne, as we were driving through wine country.  Maybe next time we're out there, assuming we have some extra cash and plan far enough in advance to make the reservations 3-12 months prior, we can actually get inside the restaurant.

Another fun thing we did on our trip was a walking architectural tour of downtown San Francisco.   The history of the buildings and the mix of styles and of old and new was really interesting. 

I also enjoyed learning about the politics of building in a large city, and the selling of "air rights".   Essentially, many cities have limits on how many floors a building,  or block, may build upward.  Each property owner owns the "air rights" above their plot of land.  If one building does not build to its allotted maximum number of floors, the owner can sell those extra floor rights to a neighbor.  It's all a little confusing, but still pretty interesting for this girl from a town with no tall buildings to speak of.

The designer of the Hobart Building, Willis Polk, might have rolled over in his grave if he'd known that this flat wall would ever be exposed.  At the time of its construction, the Hobart building butted up against another building where that exposed face is, and the only part visible from this angle was the beautiful terra cotta exterior above it.  The neighboring building was subsequently torn down and replaced with a much shorter building in order to sell its air rights to one of the buildings next to it, leaving this unattractive flat wall nakedly exposed.

While we were downtown, we drove up to Twin Peaks so that we could get a nice view of the city.  It was a little hazy that day, so I couldn't get a very clear shot of the city and Golden Gate bridge, but it was still beautiful nonetheless.

The trip was such a nice break from work and keeping up with school and housework.  We were able to sleep in every day, eat well, see the sights, and spend time with family.  Ron and Anny make it easy for us to go visit them and we really appreciated such a nice grace break before things get crazy this spring.