This Shit is Hard

I just need to complain for a little.

It's been hard lately.  A tough month in the Harnation household. We've been overwhelmed by sickness, church obligations, work changes, travel, and no sleep.

I think these are those times when we're worn down and feel attacked.  It's when we're most vulnerable to give in to our sinful natural reactions.

It's when I lose my temper.

It's when the ugliness inside that I try so hard to control comes out.

It's when I need my Savior.  And boy do I need Him today.

Prince George.  He is often found being wheeled around in the wagon during nursery at church because it's the only way he's happy.

This parenting thing is no joke.  We are 100% responsible for ensuring that these two little people survive into adulthood.

But it's more than that.  We've been entrusted with their safekeeping for just a short time.  Our responsibilities to them reach past not killing them because they've woken us up 7 times by 3 AM.

We've been entrusted with raising them in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord."

What the heck does that mean?

I don't know exactly what all it encompasses, but I know that it starts by loving them as Christ loves us.  Praying for them daily.  Living out our lives as an example for them.

That's hard.

It means loving my husband, their father, my "baby daddy".  And not throwing the pillow at him in the middle of the night and then telling him the next morning that when his snoring wakes me up during the precious 30 minutes of sleep I get between kids waking me up, "It makes me want to kill you... RIGHT NOW!!"

Aww.  No one looks like they're ready to kill anyone in this photo.

And then there's this: publicly committing to raise my children for Christ seems to put some things back into perspective.  It makes the lack of sleep and the fussiness, snot, tears, and frustration seem insignificant in the face of eternity.

Eternity

I need to let that sink in, because I truly want to spend eternity with these people that I love so much.  Especially my baby daddy, even if he snores.

3 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;

bind them around your neck;

write them on the tablet of your heart.

4  So you will find favor and good success

in the sight of God and man.

5  Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

6  In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Psalm 3:3-6